The Quiet Screaming
by spacemonkey766
Summary: Danny is found alive with his wrists slit on the bathroom floor after getting involved in an unofficial case that takes him from being a detective to being a victim. Can the team help him remember what happened and can Don help him get through this?
1. In My Defeat

**The Quiet Screaming**

_**summary**_: Danny was found with his wrists slit on the bathroom floor after getting involved in an unofficial case that takes him from being a detective to being a victim. Can the team help him remember what happened?

**genre**: Angst & Friendship

**rated**: Mature

**content warnings**: adult content, torture, language

**author note**: I came up with this premise and new Danny was the perfect one to go through it. I didn't want it so much to be procedural like the show but in pieces, like the way Danny's memory is during it. It's got a huge focus on the friendship between Danny and Don because I wanted to explore that as well. The title is inspired by The Legion of Doom's mash up of Brand New and Dashboard Confessional. I highly recommend listening :)

**disclaimer**: All characters in this story belong to CBS and the dude with the amazing vision that created CSI: NY. The characters are not mine, as much as i would like to keep them...all though after I what I put them through in this fic I don't think they'll let me borrow them anymore lol

* * *

**Prologue - "In My Defeat"**

His fingertips grazed over the white bandage over the underside of his wrist. Squared pieces of gauze, stark white against his pale skin. Strips of medical tape secured the corners of the identical bandages on each wrist.

He took in a shaky breath, lifting his head from gazing at his wrists to the lonely pale hues of the hospital room. He felt small, smaller than he ever had in his life. His body was swimming in the white scrubs he wore as he sat up in his hospital bed, his back propped up by a few white, stiff pillows. The pale blue sheets pulled up to his chest as he gazed at the pale beige of the walls that seemingly stretched out. The room was void of any color that could evoke any emotion, making him think of the room as a blank canvas.

He felt like a blank canvas. Void of anything that resembled who he thought he was, should be. He felt cold, emotionless, empty.

His memories were useless. When asked what happened, all he could do was shrug his shoulders. He grew tired of having no answers.

He didn't know.

He didn't know where he'd been for the past two weeks. He didn't know if he'd ran away or if he'd been taken. He didn't know how he ended up on the bathroom floor of his apartment with his wrists slashed last night.

The only thing that Danny Messer knew was he didn't know much.


	2. The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows

**The Quiet Screaming**

_**summary**_: Danny was found with his wrists slit on the bathroom floor after getting involved in an unofficial case that takes him from being a detective to being a victim. Can the team help him remember what happened?

**genre**: Angst & Friendship

**rated**: Mature

**content warnings**: adult content, torture, language

**author note**: I came up with this premise and new Danny was the perfect one to go through it. I didn't want it so much to be procedural like the show but in pieces, like the way Danny's memory is during it. It's got a huge focus on the friendship between Danny and Don because I wanted to explore that as well. The title is inspired by The Legion of Doom's mash up of Brand New and Dashboard Confessional. I highly recommend listening :)

**disclaimer**: All characters in this story belong to CBS and the dude with the amazing vision that created CSI: NY. The characters are not mine, as much as i would like to keep them...all though after I what I put them through in this fic I don't think they'll let me borrow them anymore lol

* * *

**Chapter One - "The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows"**

**-eleven days ago-**

Danny squinted through the microscope again before pulling away. He sighed, moving his glasses from where they were perched on top of his head, back over his eyes.

"Stupid, freakin,'" he muttered under his breath just as Adam walked into the lab.

"Hey Danny, having fun?" Adam grinned, grabbing a stool and wheeling it next to where Danny sat.

"Oh yeah, sure. Don't I look like it?" Danny scratched absently at his neck as Adam sat down beside him. "Ya wanna take over? I need some caffeine."

"Well that's nice to hear," Adam said genuinely. Seeing Danny's confused face, he elaborated. "Used to hearing you say you need a smoke."

"Yeah, well I quit about a month ago. Shit'll kill you," Danny stood up, arching his back as he worked out the kinks he got from being hunched over the microscope for so long. "Guess any withdrawal mood swings I had weren't too bad if no one noticed."

"Well, you're such a grump anyway," Adam smiled to himself, positioning himself in front of the microscope. "Who could tell, really?"

Danny slapped him upside the head as he left the lab.

He made his way down the halls of the crime lab. As he passed by Mac's office, he saw the man look up from behind the desk. He obviously spotted Danny, waving him to come in.

Danny entered and lowered himself onto the couch that sat against the wall to the left of the door, waiting for Mac to finish his phone call.

"Yeah, Thanks for the help," Mac spoke into the phone before hanging it up.

"Sup, boss?" Danny asked, seeing the slightly agitated expression on his superior's face.

"Danny, I know you're working on that homicide but I need you to pass it off to Sheldon," Mac said, coming around to the front of his desk, perching himself on the edge.

"Sure. Why, what's up?"

"A new case has fallen into our lap. A very unique case," Mac spoke, quieter than normal, peeking Danny's curiosity. "One that's going to require some unconventional investigating."

"Ya know, in my experience, the word unconventional is usually used when tryin' to describe somethin' that's gonna be a bit awkward and less than enjoyable," Danny joked, eliciting a slight laugh from the older man. Seconds later Mac slipped back into his serious demeanor.

"Danny, there's been a string of unusual suicides in the city in the past two months," Mac started.

"Times are rough right now," Danny responded, unsure of where Mac's was headed with this.

"I know, but there have been strange circumstances. I've been looking into the details of these suicides. In sixty-five percent of the suicides in the past two months, the events surrounding their deaths have all been very similar. People who have seemingly been doing well that recently suffered from a personal loss. It was either the death of a family member or friend, a recent divorce, losing their job, things like that. They drop completely off the grid for a few days, no one hearing from them. Friends, family, work, no one has heard or seen them for anywhere up to ten days. Then suddenly they turn up dead in their own bathroom, wrists slit. No evidence of foul play so its written off as a suicide."

"How many people fall into this pattern?" Danny asked.

"Twelve."

"Twelve? There's twelve almost identical deaths in two months?" Danny stared at his boss, surprise evident in his voice. "This had been going on and we're just thinking abut investigating it now?!"

"I've been thinking about it for a while. Sinclair and his team seem to think that it would be a waste of departmental resources," Mac sighed, rubbing a hand across his face. "They think I'm looking too deep into something that is a matter of coincidences. But I know in my gut this is something more."

"So you think we got a serial killer on our hands?" Danny asked, standing up from the couch. He strode over to stand in front of where Mac sat on the desk.

"I don't know Danny. But there is something going on and I want you to find out what."

"What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to investigate. Look into every detail and follow any bit of evidence you think means something." Mac reached behind him and grabbed a case folder. "Do anything they did. Go to places they'd been recently. Follow whatever lead you find. We have to figure out what the hell is going on."

"I'm assuming this is unofficial," Danny smirked.

"Too say the least. No one can know about this, Danny. If we find nothing and someone finds out, both our jobs are at risk," Mac held the folder out in front of him. "I completely understand if you don't believe me about this and don't want to take this on. I don't blame you."

Danny took a moment to size up Mac. Here was his boss, friend and mentor, asking him to trust in him and take on a risky challenge. Danny didn't have to think twice.

"I got it covered, boss," Danny smiled, accepting the file from Mac's hands.


	3. Neither Clear Nor Descript

**The Quiet Screaming**

_**summary**_: Danny was found with his wrists slit on the bathroom floor after getting involved in an unofficial case that takes him from being a detective to being a victim. Can the team help him remember what happened?

**genre**: Angst & Friendship

**rated**: Mature

**content warnings**: adult content, torture, language

**author note**: I came up with this premise and new Danny was the perfect one to go through it. I didn't want it so much to be procedural like the show but in pieces, like the way Danny's memory is during it. It's got a huge focus on the friendship between Danny and Don because I wanted to explore that as well. The title is inspired by The Legion of Doom's mash up of Brand New and Dashboard Confessional. I highly recommend listening :)

**disclaimer**: All characters in this story belong to CBS and the dude with the amazing vision that created CSI: NY. The characters are not mine, as much as i would like to keep them...all though after I what I put them through in this fic I don't think they'll let me borrow them anymore lol

* * *

**Chapter Two - "Neither Clear Nor Descript"**

**-Present-**

Mac stood in the doorway of the hospital room. It was only twenty-four hours ago that Flack and Adam found Danny, lying in a pool of his own blood in the bathroom of his apartment. All of them had been there last night when Danny was first admitted into the hospital, Stella, Sheldon, LIndsay, Adam, and Sid each coming to visit throughout the day. Mac had come earlier in the day and was now back. Flack, however, had yet to leave.

The sight he walked in on was reassuring to see, considering the last time he came Danny was asleep. Now Danny sat propped up by a few pillows, legs stretched out underneath the blanket. He was hooked up to an IV, pumping him full of antibiotics for an infection and nourishing his severely dehydrated body. In his lap lay his arms, palms facing up as the fingers on one hand lightly graced over the bandage wrapped around the other wrist. The sight was becoming too familiar to Mac, even after only a day.

The only other difference between the visits was Flack's position in the room. He too was asleep last time Mac stopped by. Currently, Flack sat in chair to Danny's left next to the bed. He was leaning back in it, his arms folded behind his head with his hands clasped together supporting the back of his neck. His legs were stretched out, propped up on the side of Danny's bed.

There was a silence that filled the room, but both men seemed unnerved by it. It wasn't by choice, but it wasn't awkward either. Mac knew the two men were close enough that words really didn't matter much.

Flack must have sensed a new presence because he looked up and saw Mac lingering in the doorway. Dropping his feet from the bed he leaned over and placed a hand on Danny's arm.

"Be back in a sec, Danny," Flack said, patting the arm. Danny just gave him a small smile, followed by a thumbs up. "I'm just gonna go talk to Mac."

As Flack started to walk towards Mac, Danny looked over to the door and gave Mac a small wave. Mac waved back at him before stepping back into the hallway.

"Hey Mac," Flack greeted, following him into the hall, hand's in his pockets. Mac noticed he was clad in jeans, sneakers, and a navy blue Henley shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His bloody clothes from helping Danny were at the lab for evidentiary purposes, and he remembered Flack wearing scrub bottoms and a beater after that. "Stella came by, took my keys and brought me back a duffel of stuff from my place," Flack supplied, noticing Mac's questioning look. "She's gonna bring some of Danny's clothes by later so he can change."

"That's good," Mac nodded his head. "I guess you're staying the night?"

"I go when he goes. I don't want him being alone, ya know?" Flack said, ducking his head to scratch at his neck. "And I kinda don't want to let him outta my sight."

"Has he said anything?" Mac asked, unable to tear his eyes away Danny though the doorway. Danny was staring blankly at the wall in front of him, his hands resting in his lap, his fingers still absently grazing across the white bandages on his wrists.

"He can't speak just yet. The doctors say he has a herniated larynx," Flack informed the older detective. "All he can do is make raspy noises. They're waiting to see if he needs surgery or not, or if it's just severely strained. They say it'll be another day or so before they know for sure."

"One of the major causes of loss of voice is due to strained vocal chords," Mac spoke out loud. Flack wasn't sure if he was talking to him or himself. It wasn't new information to them. They'd all seen victims of violent crimes. Loss of voice was usually due to psychological trauma or excessive screaming. Flack didn't know which one he'd rather have had Danny suffer through to get where he was now. But both he and Mac had a feeling it was a mix of both.

"Adam brought him one of those magnetic drawing board toys. A magna-doodle I think it's called. It's been making it easier for us to have conversations, but we haven't had many," Flack smiled sadly. "He's doing pretty good. He's Danny, ya know? But sometimes he, uh...he's struggling Mac."

"Yeah," Mac sighed. "Flack, I'm gonna talk to him."

"I'll go get a coffee. Want one?"

"No, thanks," Mac said.

"Kay," Don leaned into the room. "Dan-o? Want anything from the cafeteria?" he called out. Danny quickly grabbed the magna-doodle and scribbled something quickly. Holding it up towards Don, it read_ 'ice cream. and make it chocolate this time idiot_' "Nice, Messer," Flack laughed, slapping a friendly pat on Mac's back before heading for the elevator.

Mac entered the room, slowly approaching the bed. Danny was currently looking out the window, and even though Danny knew he was coming in, Mac didn't want to startle the young man. So he took heavy, pronounced steps; the sole of his shoes squeaking slightly on the linoleum floor.

"Hey, Danny," Mac greeted. He tried to notice the quick swipe Danny's hand made across his cheeks, wiping away any evidence that his walls momentarily crumbled.

Danny looked at him and mouthed '_hey_'.

"How are you feeling?" Mac asked, sitting in the chair Flack previously occupied, laying a hand on Danny's blanket covered leg. Danny's answer was at first silence. Then he just gave a small, tight smiled before nodding his head

Mac didn't need words in that moment. Danny's eyes spoke for him when his voice couldn't. A mixture of anguish, confusion, pain, and fear filled those blue eyes, the wetness rimming the corners just adding to it. Danny was far to pale. His body looked weak and frail, bruises littering his arms. His lip was split and dark circles framed his eyes.

"Do you remember anything, Danny. Anything at all?" Mac asked cautiously, not wanting to upset him. Danny opened his mouth to speak, but remembering that he couldn't, quickly closed it. His fists clenched the blanket in his lap as he closed his eyes, trying to calm his frustration.

Mac hated Danny's silence. It was so uncharacteristic of the young man and made Mac sad to see such an energetic person be stilled and stifled by trauma.

Danny was thankful he learned sign language as a child, thanks to his deaf grandmother. He was also thankful that after the case with the deaf family, that Mac had taken it upon himself to learn.

With his right hand, Danny touched his forefinger to his temple, bending it a couple times as he pulled it away.

'_Dreams_' was what he signed.

He took his right hand and sliced it across the palm of his left hand.

'_Pieces_', he said, before a flurry of his hands told Mac '_too small, too blurry to know what is real._'

"What about a face?" Mac asked. "Do you remember who took you Danny? Who hurt you?" Danny's hands didn't move. He just looked sadly at Mac before averting his eyes to his lap.

"Danny," Mac said, a hint of shock in his voice, "You can't possibly think you did this to yourself? That you ran away and then tried to kill yourself?" Danny bit at his bottom lip, the tears that brimmed his eyes finally spilling over.

"Danny?" Mac asked desperately. He grabbed the back of Danny's wrists and held them in his hands, the bandaged sides faced up. "Do you really think you did this to yourself?"

Danny looked back up at Mac again, the look of despair almost too much for Mac to handle, as he spoke silently.

'_I don't know._'


	4. So Keep The Blood In Your Head

**The Quiet Screaming**

_**summary**_: Danny was found with his wrists slit on the bathroom floor after getting involved in an unofficial case that takes him from being a detective to being a victim. Can the team help him remember what happened?

**genre**: Angst & Friendship

**rated**: Mature

**content warnings**: adult content, torture, language

**author note**: I came up with this premise and new Danny was the perfect one to go through it. I didn't want it so much to be procedural like the show but in pieces, like the way Danny's memory is during it. It's got a huge focus on the friendship between Danny and Don because I wanted to explore that as well. The title is inspired by The Legion of Doom's mash up of Brand New and Dashboard Confessional. I highly recommend listening :)

**disclaimer**: All characters in this story belong to CBS and the dude with the amazing vision that created CSI: NY. The characters are not mine, as much as i would like to keep them...all though after I what I put them through in this fic I don't think they'll let me borrow them anymore lol

* * *

**Chapter Three - "So Keep the Blood In Your Head"**

**-Eight Days Ago-**

Folders, photographs and papers were spread out haphazardly all over the coffee table's surface. If you asked the man responsible, he had a system; it wasn't just a chaotic mess. Danny sat on the couch, one leg bent underneath him as he hunched over the table, pen in his mouth. His fingertips grazed over the words printed on the paper before grabbing the pen from his mouth and the legal pad that rested next to him on the couch, scribbling something down on the paper before placing it back down and the pen back in between his teeth.

Danny sighed to himself, scrubbing a hand through his tousled hair. He removed the pen from his mouth and placed it atop the papers. Pushing himself off the couch he moved across the room to where his stereo sat on one of the shelves of his bookcase. Tapping over the sides of the cd cases, he settled on _'The Nylon Curtain_', deciding the Piano Man would be enough of a background noise to fill the silence of the apartment but not enough to distract him from his work.

It was day three of his private investigation. If any of his friends or the higher ups asked, he was taking paid sick days he just found out he had. He knew taking this task was a risky move for his career, especially with his less than perfect history, both on the job and not. But Mac had asked him to put his faith in him and trust that this would pan out. Mac had done the same for Danny countless times, the most recent being the case involving his brother and the Tanglewood boys. Despite the evidence that pointed to him, Mac had chosen to trust him; that meat more to Danny than anything. Surely Danny could put himself aside for one favor that Mac asked of him, especially one that he actually believed the older man was right about.

Sighing once more as Billy Joel's smooth voice sang_ 'Pressure', _Danny pulled absently at the waistband of his baggy grey sweatpants as he headed towards the kitchen for a water bottle. A knock at the door, however interrupted his endeavor.

"Dan-o? You home?" a familiar, albeit muffled voice, shouted from the other side of the door.

"Fuckin' shit!" Danny cursed under his breath running towards the coffee table, shuffling all the papers together and shoving them into one folder.

"Danny?"

"Yeah, uh," Danny called back. "One secon' Flack!" He grabbed the pad and shoved it and the stack of papers under the couch cushion. Standing on the couch, Danny leaped over the armrest and, thankful he was wearing socks, skidded into the door.

"Hey, man. Sup?" he asked casually, opening up the door to reveal Don. His friend was dressed in his civies, a black hoodie and jeans, with a bag from Papaya Dog in his hand.

"Well, Jess and I traded shifts so I got today off," Flack smiled, ducking under the arm Danny held the door open with, as he entered the apartment. "Figured you'd be bored out of your mind. Thought I'd stop by."

"Thanks, dude, but I uh," Danny closed the door, following Don into the kitchen. "You didn't have to..."

"It's no biggie, Messer. Just lunch," Don said, placing the bag on the counter. "So watcha up to?"

"Oh ya know," Danny said, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible, scratching at his white, beater-clad stomach, "this, that, an' some other stuff."

"Sounds scintillating," Don said, sounding less than convincing, not looking up from where he was taking the hot dogs out of the bag.

"Yeah, well..." Danny started, coming to stand on the other side of the counter, before Don interrupted him.

"That's all interesting Danny," Don said, halting what he was doing, spreading his hands out on the counter top and looking up to stare at Danny. "Now how bout ya tell me what you're really doing with your time off?"

"What're you talkin' bout Flack," Danny looked at him, feigning incredulousness.

"Cut the bullshit, Danny," Flack shook his head, walking around the counter to head towards the couch. "I know you, man. I know when you're lyin' to me. You suck at it."

"Flack, you can't just come over and start makin' accusations," Danny folded his arms over his chest, fighting back the urge to go sit on the cushion which hid the case files, knowing that would kind of give him away. Don just turned to face him, also folding his arms over his chest as he gave the man a look that screamed '_are you kidding me?_' They stood like that for a few moments, Don's crystal blue eyes staring down Danny's bright blue ones.

"Dan," Flack said, "come on."

"Flack I can't," Danny sighed, knowing he wasn't fooling his friend.

"I knew it!" Don said, throwing his arms up in the air. "What the hell are you doing Messer?" Don watched as Danny went over to the couch. Pulling the stack of files out from under the cushion, Danny climbed up and sat on the back of the couch, his feet planted on the cushion, handing the folder to Flack.

"Look, if Mac asks, you figured it out your self," Danny said, pointing a finger at Don as the man shuffled through the papers. "This is supposed to be a secret, private investigation."

"A private investigation? Messer have you lost it?" Don shouted. "You know what can happen when you take things into your own hands without any sort of back up. Remember what happened to Aiden? Danny we lost one of our best friends thanks to an obsession."

"This is not the same thing Don!" Danny shouted back. "I know it's a risk! Mac's got a lab to run otherwise he'd do this himself. I can handle this, man." Don just sighed, falling back onto the couch, shuffling through the papers, skimming as he went through them. He tilted his head to look up at the man next to him, still perched on the couch back.

"Suicides?" Don asked.

"Allegedly," Danny replied. " Only two people were found alive but not soon enough. They died on the way to the hospital so there are no leads there. But there's something else goin' on, I'm tellin' you. These people were regular people, Don. Not one of them had a history of depression or whatever."

"So what's the deal?"

"Well, when Mac told me about this case, the only thing we had was that in two months, twelve alleged suicides had a distinct pattern. Each person had lost a loved one within the year, they go AWOL for days, then suddenly just turn up dead in their bathroom with their wrists slit." Danny explained.

"So what have you been able to come up with?" Don asked, hearing the build up in Danny's voice as he spoke.

"There something really weird about the victims. They come in twos," Danny said. At Don's confused look, he continued. "Out of the twelve victims, six are male and six are female. In each male victim there is no age repeat, same with the female victims. The first victim was 21, one was 45, one was 38, 25, 50, and 18. Now, not in the same order, but the female victims were the same ages."

"Now that just seems a little too coincidental," Don tossed the papers onto the coffee table, leaning forward to spread them out.

"Yeah," Danny said, scooting down from the top of the couch to sit next to Flack. "I mean, they go missing, Don. I think they're being abducted, somethings done to them, and then to cover their tracks, whoever the perp is kills them and makes it look like suicide."

"Your notes say there's no evidence of any abductions though," Don pointed out.

"I know. Nothing was found that would point to foul play but these deaths," Danny paused, shaking his head, "there's something not right here."

"So whaddaya gonna do?"

"I don't know," Danny sighed. "But I do know that all the victims loved ones were treated at Trinity hospital before they died. I'm gonna go talk to someone there, see if they have any information at all."

"You want company?" Don asked, standing up from the couch,

"Nah," Danny said, grabbing the papers and shoving them together in a stack. "It's bad enough you know. I'll take care of this on my own. You, my friend, are going to go tell Mac how much of a pain in the ass you are and how you're too nosy for your own good."

___________________

"Doctor Jasek," the doctor heard his name being called from behind him. Closing the folder he held in his hands, he turned to see a younger man approaching.

"Yes," he answered, "can I help you?"

"My names Danny Messer," he introduced, holding his hand out. "I called on the phone not to long ago, wanted to ask you a few questions."

"Oh yes, Mr. Messer," the doctor accepted the hand, shaking it cordially. "Yes, let's go into my office." Danny followed the man down the hall into a small office at the end.

He motioned for Danny to enter, the doctor following him in, closing the door behind him.

"So what can I do for you, Mr. Messer?" Doctor Jasek asked, going to sit in the office chair behind the desk. Danny's initial instinct was to correct him and inform him that he was a detective, but thinking that it might not be such a good idea, he refrained. Instead he just moved to sit in one of the chairs in front of the desk.

"Doctor, my brother is a patient here, he's been in a coma for almost a six months now, so I've been here to Trinity hospital a few times," Danny started, trying to sound like he wasn't questioning a suspect. "I've noticed quite a few people come and go, visiting loved ones. I was wondering if the death of a loved one could cause someone to be suicidal?"

The doctor seemed a little surprised by the question. Clearing his throat, he clasped his hands over the desk top.

"Of course, Mr. Messer. People spiraling into depression at the loss of someone they love is very common," he answered smoothly.

"Even if they have no history of depression?"

"Of course. Despair does crazy things to the mind, son" the doctor tilted his head slightly, looking intently at Danny. "Why do you ask? Are you experiencing any warning signs of depression?"

"Nah," Danny denied. "I just...just worried. I've been hearing a lotta talk these past couple of months about suicides and was just trying to figure it out."

"In this day and age, suicide unfortunately is a very common escape for people who are suffering, whether we see them suffering or not." Doctor Jasek's answer was perfect. It made Danny slightly suspicious.

"Right," Danny nodded. "Then I better stay on my toes I guess. Thank you for your time, Doc." Danny stood up and shook the older man's hands.

"Anytime," the doctor continued to smile until Danny left the office. The second the door closed behind him, the doctor's face sunk. Reaching for the desk phone, he dialed a number quickly, holding the receiver to his ear.

"Katherine, it's Alex," he spoke, voice low. "I think we might have a problem."

___________________

Danny would give anything to have a cigarette right now. But remembering the look on Adam's face when he told him he was quitting, Danny fought the urge to duck into the first shop he saw and buy a pack.

He rounded the corner of Trinity General Hospital, walking along the length of the building as he headed towards the street. Danny decided when he cleared the building, he'd call Don and ask him to look into Jasek's record and do a background check. There was something off about the doctor; Danny just knew it.

Halfway across the hospital property, Danny took little notice of the ambulance parked next to the side of the building. As he made his way to walk around it, three men in EMT jackets climbed out of the back of the ambulance. One of the men came to stand in front of him, Danny coming to a stop.

"Now what the hell is this?" Danny asked, agitation in his voice as he raised his hand, the intention to reach underneath his leather jacket and withdraw the gun from his holster just in case. Before his hand could move any closer to its goal, the other two men moved behind him.

Danny never got a chance to try to make a run for it as the two men pounced on him, the larger one wrapping an arm around his waist and grabbled a hold of his left arm, while the other man used his left hand to clamp over Danny's mouth and used his other to wrench Danny's right arm behind his back.

Danny struggled in the clutch the men had on him, shouting underneath the hand silencing him. The man that stood in front of him approached, pulling a needle out of his jacket pocket. Danny had no control as the man wound a hand in his hair and pulled, yanking his head to the side, leaving his neck stretched and exposed as he plunged a hypodermic needle into his neck.

Danny groaned as he felt the contents of the needle enter his bloodstream. Almost instantly the edges of his vision started to darken as the two men pulled him backwards, forcing him into the back of the ambulance. The last things he experienced was the sound of the engine starting and the feeling of cold floor of the ambulance as he was thrown in, losing the battle with consciousness not seconds later.

___________________

**-present-**

Danny sprang up from bed, his mouth open in a silent scream. Danny's hand went to his throat when nothing but a faint raspy squeak came out. He threw the blankets off his legs and scrambled to get out of bed. He ran to where Don was sleeping in the visitor's wing chair, an afghan draped over his shoulders.

Danny leaned over Don and, grabbing his shoulders, shook the other man awake.

"Wha...." Don's eyes fluttered open. Feeling the tight grasp on his shoulders, his vision came in clear and saw the desperate look on Danny's face. "Danny, what's wrong?"

Releasing his hold on Don's arms, Danny frantically brought his right hand to his head, his fingertips touching his forehead, tapping quickly.

Don didn't know what Danny was signing until Danny rasped the word 'remember'


	5. And Keep Your Feet On The Ground

**The Quiet Screaming**

_**summary**_: Danny was found with his wrists slit on the bathroom floor after getting involved in an unofficial case that takes him from being a detective to being a victim. Can the team help him remember what happened?

**genre**: Angst & Friendship

**rated**: Mature

**content warnings**: adult content, torture, language

**author note**: I came up with this premise and new Danny was the perfect one to go through it. I didn't want it so much to be procedural like the show but in pieces, like the way Danny's memory is during it. It's got a huge focus on the friendship between Danny and Don because I wanted to explore that as well. The title is inspired by The Legion of Doom's mash up of Brand New and Dashboard Confessional. I highly recommend listening :)

**disclaimer**: All characters in this story belong to CBS and the dude with the amazing vision that created CSI: NY. The characters are not mine, as much as i would like to keep them...all though after I what I put them through in this fic I don't think they'll let me borrow them anymore lol

* * *

**Chapter Four - "And Keep Your Feet On The Ground"**

** -Present-**

"Danny! Danny!" Flack grabbed the frantic man by the biceps, standing up from the chair. "Calm down. C'mere. Sit down." Don turned them, gently pushing Danny down into the seat he occupied just moments ago. Danny complied, the hand that was signing just moments ago now just resting on his forehead. Danny's brow was furrowed, distress clearly written across his face.

Danny was panting as if he'd just run a marathon. Don kneeled down in front of the chair, his hand's on Danny's shaking knees.

"Danny, what do you remember?"

Danny thought for a moment before making the sign language equivalent of 'h' with his right hand, brought it to his upper left arm and made the motion of a cross.

Don didn't know much sign language, just the basic emergency words. This one he knew.

"Hospital? What about the hospital?" Don asked. Danny closed his eyes for a moment, looking like he was trying to think of something. Don patted Danny's knee before standing up and heading over to the bedside table. He grabbed the magna doodle and came back to kneel in front of the chair again. Danny's eyes were still closed, his hand still cradling his head.

"Danny, here," Don held out the magna doodle. Danny opened his eyes and accepted the toy, quickly scribbling upon the board with the pen.

He held it up for Don, one word written across the board.

"Taken," Don read. Looking back up into Danny's eyes, he asked again. "Danny, what do you remember?" Danny turned the board back around, sliding the eraser back and forth before going back to writing. After a few moments, Danny handed Don the board.

"Went to hospital to ask questions. When I left, three assholes jumped me outside, drugged me, and threw me in the back of an ambulance. Knocked me out," Don read out loud. "Danny, do you remember anything else?"

Danny shook his head, mouthing that he didn't know, the words coming out in an almost whispered rasp.

"Okay, it's okay," Don reassured. "I'm gonna call Stella and have her and Mac come by. Maybe they can help. Okay?" At Danny's nod, Don stood up, pulling his phone out and dialed Stella. "Stel...Hey it's Don...yeah its about Danny...he remembers somethin'. I think we could use you and Mac down here.... Right. See ya in a few." He hung up and turned back around. He started to tell Danny that they were on their way, but the words died on his lips as he saw his friend.

Danny was bent over in the chair, his head hung low, his hands tightly gripping his hair at the back of his head. Don couldn't see Danny's face but he heard the quiet hitch in Danny's breath. Don resumed his kneeling position in front of his friend once more.

"Danny," he said softly, bringing his hands up to lightly grab at Danny's forearms. He gently pulled Danny's arms down so they were resting on his legs. He kept one hand on one of Danny's arms and brought the other to cup the side of Danny's neck, tilting the smaller man's head up. "Look at me."

Danny's watery gaze met Don's. He said nothing, even if he could he wouldn't have. Don said nothing either. Instead he just leaned up on his knees, moving the hand from Danny's neck to cup the back of Danny's head as he wrapped the other arm around Danny's back.

Don pulled Danny close to him. Danny didn't respond to the hug at first but eventually Don felt Danny's arms wrap around his back, his hands fisting the fabric of Don's shirt, holding tightly as he let himself cry.

* * *

Danny closed his eyes, hoping to reduce the pounding in his head. He didn't jump as he felt the edge of the bed dip as someone sat by his side. A cool hand gently pressed against his forehead.

"I'm fine, Stella" he rasped quietly. It was all the voice he could manage. He felt her hand move, the back of her fingers stroking down the side of his face before resting her hand on his shoulder.

He heard her sigh before she reached up to brush his hair away from his forehead.

"You look awful, Danny," she spoke as she continued to sooth his forehead.

"He's been tryin' to remember anything he can since he woke up," he heard Don say from the chair beside the bed. "It's wearin' him out."

"I'll be fine, guys," he said, opening his eyes too look up into the worried face of Stella.

"Mac will be here soon, Danny. Until then, just take it easy," Stella said, a forceful quality to her soft voice. Danny closed his eyes again, leaning back in the bed, his arms bent towards him as he rubbed his hands into his eyes. They sat like that for a few moments before Mac came jogging into the hospital room.

"Is he okay?" he asked the moment he entered the room.

"He's fine, Mac. Just a little shaken up," Flack answered. "He woke and remembered some of what happened."

Mac came over to stand by the bed as Flack recounted to Stella and Mac what Danny had told him about the abduction. All the while Danny lay on the bed, his arms folded over his eyes. "The last thing he remembers was losin' consciousness in the back of the ambulance."

"No," Danny rasped, his arms falling to his lap as he sat up in bed. His eyes darted madly around the room before falling on Mac's concerned stare. "Somethin' else."

Images flashed across Danny's memory. He clenched his eyes tightly closed, his body doubling over as he brought the heels of his palms to press into his eyes. It was there, at the edge of his memory. He just had to focus.

_Two men got out and walked around to the back of the ambulance, while the third, the driver, climbed over the front seats to the back. Looking around to check that there was no one around, the two men opened the ambulance doors to reveal the other man pushing a wheelchair with a silent, still man. The driver pushed the man in the chair to the edge of the ambulance. Then the two men each grabbed a side and hoisted the chair out of the vehicle and settled it onto the pavement._

_ It was Danny. He had been bound to the wheelchair. His arms were pulled behind him, his wrists crossed and tied to the back metal frame of the chair with thin black rope. His ankles were each tied to the poles of the attached foot rests while rope bound his knees to bottoms of the arm rests. Duct tape wrapped around his chest pinned him to the seat. Three strips of duct tape layered over his mouth kept the man's protests muffled as he shouted for help as he was wheeled towards the back entrance of what appeared to be an abandoned building. _

"Danny!"

The strong voice of Mac's voice and the firm grip of on his upper arms startled him back to reality. Not seconds after Danny doubled over, his body began to shake, slightly rocking back and forth as he put an immense amount of effort in trying to remember, trying to focus his thoughts.

"Danny!" Mac shouted, his voice now more desperate and his grip growing tighter. Danny's eyes flew open, his breath short and heavy. He stared up intensely at the man hovered over him, his hand dropping to hold on to Mac's forearms. His boss was leaning over the bed, holding tightly onto him. Danny's eyes darted around the room. Stella and Don were standing to the side, their faces masks of concern.

"Mac," Danny exhaled, focusing scared eyes back onto the older detective. "They took me. Uh...a building. A run-down hospital I think," Danny managed to rasp between shaky breaths.

"Do you know where, Danny? Do you remember anything about where you were?" Mac asked, his grip loosening from a desperate clutch to ground the younger man to a reassuring hold in attempt to comfort him.

Danny shut his eyes again, trying to search his memory. Anything he could think of from the short distance between the ambulance and the entrance to the abandoned building.

_Graffiti. Faded cement and bricks. Something familiar. The building. The sea. The air. He'd been there before. _

"Home," Danny breathed, opening his eyes slowly.

"That's where we found you Danny," Don started to say but stopped as Danny shook his head.

"No," Danny said. "Staten Island. I don't remember where but we were definitely on Staten Island. Close to the water. It all seemed familiar." Mac fished for his phone in his pocket as he walked out of the room.

"Adam, I need you to do a search for any abandoned hospitals on Staten Island, possibly focusing on the Green Belt area," Mac spoke into the phone, peering into the room and seeing Stella and Don trying to convince Danny not to fight his exhaustion. When Adam repeated his name questioningly Mac realized the lab tech had asked him a question. "I'm sorry, Adam repeat that...Yeah, we think that's where they might have taken Danny and probably the other victims....I'm leaving the hospital in five minutes and I'm going to head to the lab. I'll check in when I get there. Thanks."

Mac turned and walked back into the hospital room. Stella was brushing back the hair on Danny's head, the young man apparently having surrendered to his fatigue. Don was standing near the small window, a hand threaded through his hair with the other on his hip.

"Adam is searching now," Mac spoke, his voice just slightly above a whisper out of fear of waking their injured friend. "I'm going to head back to the lab, go over Danny's clothes we found him in, see if I can find anything at all."

"Mac? We're gonna get these guys right?" Flack said, his back still turned on Stella and Mac, staring out the window. Stella stopped her maternal ministrations on Danny and turned her focus to Don.

"We don't have a choice," Mac replied, the only answer he felt he could give. He gave a farewell nod to Stella before leaving the room. Stella gently stood rose from the bed and walked over to where Don stood.

"We'll figure this out, Don," Stella tried to reassure, laying a gentle hand on Flack's back.

"That's what I'm afraid of Stella," Don said, turning his head to look into his co-worker's eyes. "He's been through something rough enough that his mind blocked it out. I'm not sure if I want him to figure out what happened."


	6. Today's The Day It Gets Tired

**The Quiet Screaming**

_**summary**_: Danny was found with his wrists slit on the bathroom floor after getting involved in an unofficial case that takes him from being a detective to being a victim. Can the team help him remember what happened?

**genre**: Angst & Friendship

**rated**: Mature

**content warnings**: adult content, torture, language

**author note**: I came up with this premise and new Danny was the perfect one to go through it. I didn't want it so much to be procedural like the show but in pieces, like the way Danny's memory is during it. It's got a huge focus on the friendship between Danny and Don because I wanted to explore that as well. The title is inspired by The Legion of Doom's mash up of Brand New and Dashboard Confessional. I highly recommend listening :)

**disclaimer**: All characters in this story belong to CBS and the dude with the amazing vision that created CSI: NY. The characters are not mine, as much as i would like to keep them...all though after I what I put them through in this fic I don't think they'll let me borrow them anymore lol

* * *

**Chapter Five - "Today's The Day It Gets Tired"**

**-Seven Days Ago-**

Danny sat against the wall in the corner of the small room. Yesterday he was abducted and brought into this run down hospital in god-know's where. After they wheeled him in, they drugged him again via needle. Next thing he knew he woke up in this small cell. He had spent a good portion of the past two hours trying to find a way out. All he had in this room was a broken toilet and a beat up mattress on a metal bed frame with straps dangling from the sides. The walls and floor had been crudely covered with foam padding, giving the impression of a padded cell.

Sometime during his unconsciousness he had been stripped and changed into navy blue scrubs. He was barefoot and his chain and dogtag were missing, as well as his watch. Danny had no idea what these men wanted with him, but he'd bet his life's savings that it had something to do with those 'suicides' and Doctor Jasek. He just wished someone would come in and tell him what the hell was going on.

As if on cue, the door to his cell opened and he instantly recognized the three men that had taken him and thrown him into the ambulance. Instead of EMT garb, they were all dressed as orderlies. Each in a different color scrubs outfit.

"Hey boys, long time no see," Danny glared, remaining seated. He wanted to lash out and try to fight but he knew he didn't stand a chance against the three of these well-built goons.

"Alright, Messer," one of them spoke, the dark haired one in the middle, dressed in dark red scrubs. The blonde, tall one was in green and the shorter of the three but equally as built had dark hair as well and was dressed in gray. Not knowing or caring to know their names, he decided to refer to them by their scrubs' colors. "The doctor wants to see you now."

"Well woo fuckin' hoo," Danny muttered, rolling his eyes. A moment later Green and Red made their way towards him and grabbed by the arms, forcing him to stand.

Gray moved in front of him, revealing a tangle of beige leather straps in his hands. '_Medical restraints_,' Danny identified.

As the other two held Danny in their clutches, Gray took the leather belt and fastened it around his waist. The two holding his arms helped maneuver his arms down by his side so Gray could encase each wrist in cuffs that were attached to the sides of his belt by an 8 inch long strap, leaving his arm movements very limited. Next came similar styled ankle cuffs, connected by a 9 inch long strap allowing him to shuffle at best.

"Let's go," Green ordered, he and Red began marching Danny out of the cell, following Gray as he led them down a hall that reeked of rotting wood, paint peeling and decaying off the walls, till finally they reached an old green door that read '_Supervisor's Office_' in scratched bold lettering.

They ushered him in and sat him down in an uncomfortable armchair. A seatbelt type thing was fastened across his lap, confining him to the chair. A woman in her early thirties sat across from him in an armchair, dressed professionally, thin glasses sitting on the edge of her nose and her blonde hair pulled into a neat bun. Once the orderlies left, she reached behind her to grab a notepad off the worn desk.

"Detective Messer, my name is Dr. Katie. For obvious reasons I can't disclose to you my last name but Doctor or Katie will do fine," she had started, as if in a friendly conversation "Do you know where you are, Mr. Messer?"

Danny remained silent.

"Danny, may I call you Danny?" she attempted communication again.

"You can kiss my ass," Danny replied.

"Danny," Katie ignored him. "Unfortunately for you, your curiosity got you into a spot of trouble."

"Why the hell was I brought here?" Danny snarled, his eyes glaring at her in anger.

"See Danny, me and my colleagues are conducting a research project on cognitive-behavioral therapy. We know the effects it has on schizophrenic patients and those who are mentally unstable, but to better understand the human mind we came up with the idea to test it on mentally healthy adults. This being an intense and rather unorthodox scientific experiment, it is almost impossible to get willing volunteers. But we make do." The way the doctor spoke put Danny at an unease; they way she explained the situation he was in as if it was a normal procedure.

"So those people that went missing and turned up dead in their apartments..." Danny let the question trail off, assuming that the doctor was ready to fill in the rest.

"They were our test subjects. We had to stage their suicides so no one would look into their disappearance and just write it off as depression getting the best of them. But then you came along and we were provided with the unique opportunity of not having to go looking for our next test subject." She smiled at Danny as she spoke, a sense of pride in her voice. "It's for the sake of science Danny. As a crime scene investigator you better than anyone should know the importance of scientific discoveries, especially those that help us better understand the human as an entity."

"This is the craziest thing I've ever heard," Danny exclaimed, pulling at the restraints, trying to get free.

"You're better off not fighting, Mr. Messer," Katie warned. "This is going to happen. You might as well except your fate here. For the next few days you're going to be enduring some very draining activities, both physically and mentally." She turned back to her desk and hit a button on the phone. Moments later the orderlies came back in, freeing him from his chair restraints.

They ushered him out of the room, the doctor in tow. When they re-entered the cell, Red began to remove the restraints from around his waist and wrists and his ankle restraints. He saw a new person enter the room behind them, a female in pale blue scrubs, holding a bundle of white cloth that Danny instantly recognized as a straightjacket.

"There's no way I'll just accept this! Let me go! You just can't do this to people!" As Danny shouted at the crowd of people he bucked in their grasps. The female orderly handed the straitjacket to Red as Gray and Green continued to hold him tightly

"Don't worry, we are not going to hurt you," said Red, holding out the jacket. The other two just held him more tightly and pushed both of his arms into the long white sleeves until his hands touched the closed ends. The orderly that had spoken to him held Danny's arms out in front of him as another started to tighten down the straps in the back of the jacket. After he was locked in, one at a time his arms were guided through the front strap that held down the arms. His arms were then pulled around towards his back and buckled them down tightly. The attached strap at his chest was pulled behind to his back and fastened, securing his shoulders to his body. Finally the strap that hung off the bottom front of the strait jacket was pulled between his legs to tighten the jacket and buckled in the small of his back.   One of the orderlies buckled a leather strap around his ankles and then Danny was pushed forward. With a pained grunt, Danny landed on his side onto the padded floor of the cell.

Danny rolled onto his back, staring up angrily at the men. The orderly in Green placed a heavy booted foot right onto Danny's chest. He pushed down with his foot, forcing to Danny to grunt in pain. He started right into Danny's eyes

"The less you cooperate, the more you lose your freedom to move around. I've got no problem keeping you bound up if that's the way you wanna play it, kid." With that, the three orderlies bent down, one grabbing his bound legs and the other two his trapped upper body, hoisting him off the ground.

The orderlies carried Danny and placed his squirming form onto the bunk. They reached under, and pulled out several black leather straps. Working quickly, they buckled a strap over his ankles, knees, hips, and torso, locking him to the bunk. The final strap was placed over his mouth, immobilizing his head and gagging his mouth.

"Sleep _tight _kid," Gray snickered at the pun, turning out the lights as they left, leaving Danny completely immobile and forced to lie still, looking up at the ceiling in darkness.


	7. Today's The Day We Drop Down

**The Quiet Screaming**

_**summary**_: Danny was found with his wrists slit on the bathroom floor after getting involved in an unofficial case that takes him from being a detective to being a victim. Can the team help him remember what happened?

**genre**: Angst & Friendship

**rated**: Mature

**content warnings**: adult content, torture, language

**author note**: I came up with this premise and new Danny was the perfect one to go through it. I didn't want it so much to be procedural like the show but in pieces, like the way Danny's memory is during it. It's got a huge focus on the friendship between Danny and Don because I wanted to explore that as well. The title is inspired by The Legion of Doom's mash up of Brand New and Dashboard Confessional. I highly recommend listening :)

**disclaimer**: All characters in this story belong to CBS and the dude with the amazing vision that created CSI: NY. The characters are not mine, as much as i would like to keep them...all though after I what I put them through in this fic I don't think they'll let me borrow them anymore lol

* * *

**Chapter Six - "Today's The Day We Drop Down"**

**-Present-**

Don's eyes slowly opened, the harsh light of the afternoon stabbing through the gap in the shades of the hospital window. He blinked a few times, his vision adjusting as he became aware of his surroundings. He had passed out, stretched out on the hospital bed while Danny sat in the winged chair writing down anything that came to mind. Mac had given him a notebook and pen, telling him to write down every detail, every thought he remembered, that nothing was too small and insignificant.

Looking at his watch, Don estimated that was about four hours ago. Sitting up in bed, he didn't see Danny anywhere in the room. The notebook Danny had been writing in lay abandoned on the seat of the chair. Don pushed himself off the bed, stretching out stiff muscles in his back, and walked over to the chair. He picked up the notebook and thumbed through the pages. Skimming as he went, he stopped on the last couple of pages written on, focusing on the scrawled words.

_ I don't know how many days I was there. I remember being locked up for a long time, that straightjacket. Them asking questions, doing stupid standard psych eval tests while being in that fuckin jacket talking to that bitch in a lab coat. I need to remember her. It could help._

_ A few days after they took me I think I remember being wheeled into another rundown room. They finally took the jacket off me. I struggled as much as i could but being locked in that thing for so long my muscles were sore and weak. I wasn't free for long. They took a bunch of leather straps, one across my chest and over my arms, one around my waist, my wrists cuffed in straps attached to the belt strap, locking my wrists to my side. Those bastards in scrubs hoisted me up onto a small bed with a thin, hard mattress._

_ She said something to me. The woman who'd been making me answer questions for who knows how long. I think she called me Mr. Messer again and told me "this will prevent any water from getting in your mouth." Then with one hand on my forehead and the other on my chin, Red forced my jaw apart, my mouth wide open. The chick brought an inflatable bulb to my mouth. She asked if i was ready before slipping it in. I could feel the flaps on the end of it pressed over my teeth as Red pushed my jaws together to bite on the tip, the flap stuck in between my lips and teeth. With the hold on my chin, I wouldn't be able to spit the damn gag out. The lady began squeezing the pump and I immediately felt the bulb in my mouth start to expand, pressing down on my tongue and against my cheeks. Felt like my mouth was completely filled. _

_ She removed the pump from the gag and screwed the cap on. Then Gray took some sort of stretchy waterproof tape and put three pieces over my mouth, overlapping and sealing it shut._

_ A wet pack she called it._

* * *

**-Six Days Ago-**

"It's called a wet pack, Mr. Messer," Katie informed asthe orderlies went over to what looked like a big bath tub. "It's an old technique but it was used to treat patients suffering from psychosis."

The orderlies took large folded sheets from a nearby soak tub. They started the wrappings at his feet, rolling Danny over on his sides, back and forth as the cold wet sheets were wrapped around his body tightly, stopping at his shoulders.

He was wrapped so tightly in the sheets soaked in cold so that Danny was able to move only his head. He was hoisted up off the bed and carried over to the long tub the sheets had just been in and was gently lowered in. The shock of the cold water struck him instantly. The tub was only deep enough for the surface to be a mere two inches above his completely submerged body. His lungs were burning as he tried to struggle in his wrappings, the cold water painfully drowning him for what felt like hours. In reality it was just a couple moments before arms reached in and hoisted him out. The soaked, convulsing man panted desperately for air through his nose before he was once again submerged. Another couple moments and he was once again pulled out. This time he was brought back over to the bed and laid flat, his body racked in shakes.

He lay there thoroughly drenched on the bed as the orderlies pulled a strap over his shoulders, knees and ankles so he couldn't roll off the bed in an attempt to escape the wet pack.

"Alright, Danny," the woman spoke politely. "We'll be in to check on you periodically throughout the duration of your treatment." With that, the nurse and orderlies dimmed the lights to the point where there was only a faint illumination of the room, and closed the door behind them as they exited.

Danny had no idea how long he was to be kept like this. Hours, maybe even days. He hoped not. Danny already began to feel the heavy weight of the wet sheets and felt like the pack was drawing tighter as the sheets 'shrunk' to fill gaps previously filled with water.

The gag made breathing through the cold harder. He panted through his nostrils, trying to inhale all the air he could as his metabolism increased to combat the cold.

Danny closed his eyes and tried to slow down his breathing. He remembered hearing about these things on some late night documentary he watched when nothing else was on. A wet-sheet-pack. That's what they called them. Used in early 20th century psychiatric treatment. One guy said that it was a torture that breaks the strongest, and could produce visions or acid trip nightmares.

Danny began to shiver. From the cold or the fear he wasn't sure. Maybe both. He did know that he was in deep this time and he didn't think he could get out of this himself. He needed his friends to somehow find him. He had to figure a way out of this. But not now. He couldn't do anything now.

There was nothing to do but lie there, alone in this room. He had lost his ability to speak, to move, and had no control of what was happening to him. And that maybe scared him the most.

* * *

**-present-**

"Fuck." Don closed the notebook and threw it on the chair as if it burned his hands. He couldn't believe what he had read. What Danny had endured. What he remembered.

He had to find the other man. Having had to relive that as he wrote it down must have taken a toll on Danny and Don needed to be there for him, just like he had for the last three days since they found him. Don was ready to search all over the hospital. Danny was still too weak to go to far, especially with his IV trailing behind. The search took only about fifteen minutes, Don finding Danny a level down in the waiting room, sitting in one of the lobby chairs, watching the Food Network on the small tv hanging from the wall.

Don sighed in relief, strolling over to sit on the coffee table that Danny hand his feet propped up on.

"Sorry if I scared you," Danny spoke, not tearing his gaze away from the screen.

"Eh, I started finding grey hairs about a month ago," Don shrugged. "What's a few more?"

He got no response from Danny. Just more silence for another ten minutes before Danny spoke.

"You read what I wrote." It wasn't a question, Danny knew. Don just nodded.

"I can't even tell you the shock and the agony of that shit. This ice cold water seeping through the cloth, numbing the skin," Danny spoke, his eyes darting back and forth as he once again recalled what happened. "I kept thinking 'when is this going to end?' 'has it been hours or days' 'my muscles feel like they're being torn apart' 'am i gonna die of hypothermia'"

"But you didn't," Don quickly tried to reassure.

"What if this is a dream, a trip?" Danny looked desperately to Don. "They say that happens in that kind of psychological torture. What if this isn't real and I'm still back there?"

"Danny..."

"Or what if it never happened? What if I convinced myself of all this because I'm ashamed of," Danny's voice trailed off as he moved his fingers to graze the white bandages on his wrists.

"Do you really think you did that to yourself, Danny?" Don asked, breaking the silence. Danny looked up, studying his friend carefully, before shrugging his shoulders.

"Honestly?" Danny paused. "Yeah. Me tryin to off myself...is it really that farfetched?"

"Yes," Don replied, not missing a beat. "You're stronger than that Danny."

Danny stared at his friend for a long moment before whispering, "not all the time."

Don leaned forward and gently held Danny's face between his hands, cupping his cheeks.

"You listen to me, Messer," Don spoke, his throat clenching as he imagine the pain Danny went through, the pain he was feeling now. His thumbs softly stroked Danny's cheeks. It was a small sentiment that under normal circumstances would be uncharacteristic of the two men. But here and now, they were simply best friends, brothers even. Danny relieved in the fact his friend was here with him, and Don relieved his friend was safely back with them. "You will get through this."

"I don't really have a choice, do I?" Danny smiled half-heartedly.

"Not while I'm here," Don smiled back, "and I'm not going any where."


	8. Taking It's Wear

**The Quiet Screaming**

_**summary**_: Danny was found with his wrists slit on the bathroom floor after getting involved in an unofficial case that takes him from being a detective to being a victim. Can the team help him remember what happened?

**genre**: Angst & Friendship

**rated**: Mature

**content warnings**: adult content, torture, language

**author note**: I came up with this premise and new Danny was the perfect one to go through it. I didn't want it so much to be procedural like the show but in pieces, like the way Danny's memory is during it. It's got a huge focus on the friendship between Danny and Don because I wanted to explore that as well. The title is inspired by The Legion of Doom's mash up of Brand New and Dashboard Confessional. I highly recommend listening :)

**disclaimer**: All characters in this story belong to CBS and the dude with the amazing vision that created CSI: NY. The characters are not mine, as much as i would like to keep them...all though after I what I put them through in this fic I don't think they'll let me borrow them anymore lol

* * *

**Chapter Seven - "Taking It's Wear"**

**-Five Days Ago-**

Mac fished through Danny's notes for the umpteenth time in days. They had nothing to go on. The last anyone heard from Danny was three days ago. Danny had told Don he was going to Trinity Hospital to talk to someone. They didn't have a name, no security tapes because they couldn't get a warrant to search without reasonable cause. They weren't even sure if Danny had made it to the Hospital.

Mac had informed his team of what was going on and they were all working around the clock. But like half of the cases that came through the lab, sometimes there just wasn't enough to go on to form any substantial leads. Mac and Don knew it had to do with the case, which also meant they had a time window.

Mac didn't regret looking into the case. If Danny succeeded in they had the chance to save countless people. But Danny was missing. Mac just hoped they'd have the chance to save him

___________________

"It's fascinating, really," Dr. Katie spoke into the phone to Dr. Jasek. "After the wet-pack, he should have broken, just like the others. His power to resist should be gone but it's not. This is his last treatment and then tomorrow his time with us will end. I'll bring my finidings to you after we drop him off and then we can add it to our research and work on finding a corresponding female test subject."

She hung up the phone and left her makeshift office and headed down the hall to one of the operating rooms. The sight she entered too was satisfying to see.

Danny was manhandled by the three orderlies. Two of them each grabbed one of his arms and got a hold on his upper body while the third grabbed his ankles. He was hoisted off the floor, twisting in their grasps, as he was roughly deposited onto his back onto a padded table.

The female nurse immediately hovered over him and grabbed a leather strap hanging from the edge of the table. She quickly stretched it over Danny's waist and fastened it tightly to the other end of the table, securing Danny down.

"Hey! Let go of me you sons of bitches!" His shouts went ignored as the two orderlies holding his arms wrestled them down to his side. Their strength overpowered Danny's own and soon the orderlies were fastening his wrists into the cuffs attached to the waist restraint. While they did that, the orderly holding his legs tightly secured his ankles into similar cuffs at the foot of the table. Another strap was stretched over his knees, securing his legs down and one more over his chest, pinning his shoulders as well. Danny was completely immobilized.

"You assholes! Let me outta these!" Danny writhed as best he could in his restraints, screaming as the orderlies just stood around the table. The young man twisted and pulled but he was held down good.

"Now Danny, you need to calm down," the doctor said, approaching the table. "You're only going to make this harder then it needs to be."

"Fuck you. There's nothing wrong with me," Danny snarled, glaring up at the doctor as he came over to stand by Danny's head.

"You're absolutely right. Mentally your sound, and interestingly enough after all the treatments you've been through. Your contribution to our study has proved invaluable and tomorrow you will be home free," the doctor dipped her hands into a small tub on a tray next to the table. With gel on her fingertips, she applied it to Danny's temples as she spoke.

"Bullshit," Danny spat. "You may be done with me now, but you're just going to take me home to kill me."

Dr. Katie applied an electrode to each of Danny's temples. Danny shook his head, trying to shake them off. One of the orderlies placed a hand on his forehead, holding his head still as he grabbed the final restraint on the table. The strap was stretched across his forehead, forcing Danny's head into immobility.

"Danny, every one must make a sacrifice for science. Plus, do you really think you could live a normal life after all this? Think of it as euthanasia, This is for your own good," the doctor reached towards the tray again and retrieved a rubber mouthpiece. "Now open."

When Danny refused, one of the orderlies held his jaw and pressed hard till his mouth began to open. He then forced two fingers into his mouth and pried it open.

"Nu-mmm-mmppphhhh!" the piece was forced into his mouth, and as the fingers quickly were removed, the rubber gag was wedged between his teeth. The piece pressed his tongue down and filled the front of his mouth. The doctor placed a hand on his chin and forced Danny to bite down on the rubber mouthpiece. His lips closed around the edge, the very front and the small breathing tube the only thing visible.

"Alright. This will hurt, but it will be over soon." The second the doctor hit the switch a jolt of pain struck Danny as the electricity attacked him. His whole body instantly tensed, his back arching as he lifted himself reflexively off the table on his heels and arms.

"MMMMMMM!!!!!!!!" His head was thrown back in pain, his neck stretching. His eyes squeezed tightly as his fists clenched. Danny's body convulsed helplessly as the electric currents flowed through his body. The orderlies and the doctor stood around the table and watched his body writhe as he struggled against the bonds.

Beads of sweat had formed on the exposed flesh of his arms and on the lines of his face and he was shaking in pain. His body convulsed violently as the electricity coursed through his body. The rubber gag muffled Danny's pain-filled screams. He panted heavily through his nose. Silent tears rolled down his face. His back arched as best it could in the restraints. His eyes rolled back in to his head

When the switch was turned off and the shock finally stopped, Danny's straining muscles ceased and his body collapsed onto the table like a limp rag doll. He lay there shivering in pain. All of his muscles twitched as one as he panted raggedly, whimpering as he recovered from the horrific shock.  There he lay bound and unconscious, covered in a cold sweat, his body jerking every so often from the previous shocks.

Unfortunately that was the first of a a few treatments that would take place throughout the day.

___________________

**-Present-**

"Well, that explains the memory loss," Mac said, placing a hand on Danny's leg. Through the blanket, Mac could feel Danny's body shaking. Danny finally looked back at Mac, his gaze watery, face contorted in anger. Mac wasn't sure if it was anger towards him for making Danny talk about it; anger towards the 'doctors' for putting him through what he did; or, knowing Danny, anger towards himself for letting his emotions come so freely.

"Danny," Mac spoke calmly, trying to relax the younger man. "We found Jasek and the orderlies. We will find that Dr. Katie you spoke about. They can't do to anyone else what was done to you. I just wish we could have stopped this from happening to you."  "This wasn't your fault Mac," Danny said abruptly, knowing his boss was ridden with guilt.

"Yeah, well if I hadn't"

"Please don't, Mac" Danny interrupted. "I really don't have the energy to try to convince you what you should already know."

Mac smile slightly at his team member. He did feel responsible, but he was also proud. Because of Danny they were close to closing a case that no one thought existed, saving countless people in the process. He glanced towards Don who was standing in the corner of the room, arms crossed over his chest, his eyes closed.

"Do you need anything?" Mac asked, not sure of who he was asking, not sure of what else to do because Danny obviously was done talking about it all and Don looked ready to punch a wall.

"Whiskey," Danny responded.

"Two, thanks," Don replied.

"Ok, so juice for Danny and coffee for Don," Mac said, getting up from the chair by the Danny's bed. "I'll be back in a few."

Don's phone vibrated in his pocket.

"I'll be back in a minute," Don said. Seeing that it was Stella calling, he left the room to answer, hoping for some sort of news on the perps in custody.

The minute he left the room, Danny had the sudden urge to sit up, coupled by a determination to prove to himself that he wasn't as much of an invalid as he looked and felt.

Danny kicked the blankets off his feet and swung his legs over the edge. As he started to push himself off the bed, pain lanced through his body. He gasped at the intensity of it, bile rose in his throat, blood rushed to his head and his vision swam as felt himself start to black out.

Suddenly a strong arm supported his back and another wrapped around his stomach, and Danny found himself gripping Don's shirt, leaning in and letting his friend take his weight.

"What the hell do you think you're doin' Messer," Flack said, wrapping his arms tighter around the smaller man. He had just entered the room when he saw Danny push himself off the bed. In a few quick strides he was able to catch the man as he fell towards the floor.

"The bed was pissin' me off, I thought the floor would be more comfortable," Danny grimaced in pain as Flack eased him to sit back on the side of the bed.

"I told you when I left I'd be back in a minute," Flack said sitting beside him. "You couldn't just freakin' wait?"

"I can fuckin' handle shit on my own, Don," Danny grumbled, wrapping his good arm around his stomach, cradling his aching body. Every time Danny remembered something else, it was like his body remembered going through with it. Danny could almost feel the jolts electricity going through his body like they did those few days ago.

"Oh yeah, I can see that," Flack said, rather agitated. "Why can't you be the good little patient and just let us help you without bein' a pain in the ass."

"I don't need help," Danny said, sounding much like a bratty child.

"The hell you don't," Don couldn't bite back the anger. They weren't mad at each other, but right now they were a convenient outlet.

"Fuck you," Danny cursed, pushing off the bed. "Fuck all this shit."

"Can you just lose the stubborn Italian pride for a little while," Don looked at Danny rather desperately, all agitation gone from his voice.

"You don't get it! Lindsay and Adam walk around like they're afraid of me. I can't hide any ache or pain from Sheldon 'cuz he knows, he just knows! And Mac looks like he's in pain all the time and I know it's 'cuz he feels like he can't help me! And Stella...every touch, every look, it's like she's afraid I'll fuckin break and shatter."

"Danny..."

"And then there's you!" Danny turned, his arm's spread out to his side with one hand pointing towards Don. Don just looked at him quietly, waiting for Danny to speak again. Danny just stared back, bring his arms to wrap around himself in self-hug. "You..." Danny stared more intensely, something Don thought impossible. "I'm not an invalid. I'm not a child."

"I know that Danny," Don interrupted quietly, "and if I've made you feel that way..."

"No, you're not..." Danny brought a hand to his head, clenching his eyes closed tightly. "That's not what I mean. I don't know what I mean. Fuck!" Danny grabbed the sides of his head, doubling over.

"Danny," Don called out, afraid to touch his friend. Danny groaned before, sitting back down on the side of the bed.

"They fucked with my head, Don," Danny whispered, dropping his hands from head, rubbing at his neck. "All that shit, what if it worked? What if I'm going crazy?"

"You're not," Don said firmly. Danny didn't respond. They just sat there in awkward silence, before Don spoke up again. "What were ya doin' outta bed anyways?"

"I wanted to change out these god-damn scrubs," Danny mumbled. Don told him to stay put as he went over to the duffle in the corner of the room, rummaging through until he found a pair of baggy gray sweatpants and a black zip up hoodie. "Good?" At Danny's nod, Don went and closed the hospital room door and came back over to the bed, placing the clothes next to Danny.

"Can you, uh....?" Danny asked sheepishly, Don turned around as Danny slowly struggled to shed himself of the scrub bottoms and replacing them with his sweat pants. After a good ten minutes of quiet grunts and whispered curses, Danny had his bottoms on. "Don?"

Don turned around and saw a flush over Danny's cheeks, Danny's eyes looking every where but Don's face.

"Ya wanted to help right?" Danny said hesitantly. "I don't think I'm gonna be able to pull the shirt over my head." Danny's body was too sore and needed Don to help get the scrubs top off.

"Jesus, Danny," Don gasped. It was the first time seeing the multicolored bruises and how thin Danny had become.

"We're just gonna have to hit the gym more so I can get back to fighting shape," Danny tried to reassure his friend, hearing the despair in his voice and seeing it his eyes. Don didn't know what to say.

"Now can you help me get this hoodie on, I'm freezin'," the corners of Danny's mouth turned up as he spoke, causing Don to smile as well as he helped Danny into the hoodie, zipping it up mid chest. Danny scooted backwards on to the bed, lounging on top of the covers, leaning back on his pile of pillows. Don stood by the bed, watching as Danny got himself situated.

"They're not afraid of you. They just don't know how to help and that's all they want to do," Don spoke up as sat at the foot of the bed, one leg dangling over the edge, the other folded beneath him.

"I know," Danny sighed. "I just don't want them to pitty me. I'm a big boy, I'll be fine. And I don't want you to feel you gotta stick around because you think I'll break."

"That's not why I'm here, Danny," Don said. "I'm here because you are."


	9. But You're Not Alone&You're Not Discreet

**The Quiet Screaming**

_**summary**_: Danny was found with his wrists slit on the bathroom floor after getting involved in an unofficial case that takes him from being a detective to being a victim. Can the team help him remember what happened?

**genre**: Angst & Friendship

**rated**: Mature

**content warnings**: adult content, torture, language

**author note**: I came up with this premise and new Danny was the perfect one to go through it. I didn't want it so much to be procedural like the show but in pieces, like the way Danny's memory is during it. It's got a huge focus on the friendship between Danny and Don because I wanted to explore that as well. The title is inspired by The Legion of Doom's mash up of Brand New and Dashboard Confessional. I highly recommend listening :)

**disclaimer**: All characters in this story belong to CBS and the dude with the amazing vision that created CSI: NY. The characters are not mine, as much as i would like to keep them...all though after I what I put them through in this fic I don't think they'll let me borrow them anymore lol

* * *

**Chapter Eight - "But You're Not Alone & You're Not Discreet"**

**-Four Days Ago-**

"Explain this to me one more time," Adam said as he and Don entered the elevator of Danny's apartment building.

"Okay, all the other victims were found in their homes with their wrists slit. So that means if they have Danny, they're gonna come back and we can't camp out here because they're clever and find out. But I thought we could set up a camera at his door and stake out in the empty apartment down the hall so when they do arrive we'll get there in time to stop them."

"You think it'll work?" Adam asked as they exited the elevator, trying to avoid three burly men as they rushed to enter the elevator.

"God I hope so," Don said, pulling out the key to Danny's apartment. "Okay, geek, start setting it up."

"You know its all names and mockery until my geek-chic saves the day," Adam complained as he set the case of equipment down on the floor. Don shook his head and started walk around the apartment, ignoring the kid's remarks as he made his way down the hallway.

He thought he heard a noise and had his hand hovered over his gun but as he came to the bathroom door, his heart stopped at the sight of Danny on the floor, blood spilling from his wrists.

"No, no no, no, no!" Don said, stopping in the doorway of the bathroom for a split second before running over to where Danny lay on the floor. "Danny!" Don fell to his knees beside Danny and leaned over him. He clamped his hands over the slit, bloodied wrists of his friend, trying to stop the blood flow, holding on as tightly as he possibly could.

"ADAM!" Don shouted. Danny moaned beneath him, his eyes closed, his arms shaking beneath Don's clutch. The young lab tech came running to the bathroom.

"Oh my god," Adam gasped, fumbling in his pocket for his phone as he called 911.

"Danny, hold on!" Don shouted at his friend. The second Adam hung up the phone, Don looked up at the younger man. "Adam, grab a belt, get anything you can."

Adam immediately pulled his belt from his pant's and a small towel from on top of the counter. Falling to his knees beside Danny, Adam tied the towel as tight as he could over Danny's right wrist, difficult with his arm being slick with blood. The second Adam was done, Don clamped his now blood covered hand back over the wrist as Adam moved to tie his belt over Danny's left wrist.

"Make sure its tight. I gotta keep pressure on them," Don spoke, frantic as Adam finished with shaky hands. "Adam try to get him to look at you, talk to you, anything!"

As Adam did all he could to get Danny's attention, Don sat back on his legs folded beneath him, and maneuvered Danny's upper body to rest upon Don's lap, trying to rouse some alertness in Danny. With Don's arms around his friend, his right hand clamped around Danny's wrist and the other folded over Danny's chest, Adam grabbed Danny's other wrist and tried to stop the blood flow/

As Adam called out and spoke to Danny, all Don could do was whisper under his breath 'oh god, please' as he held on tightly to Danny's wrists, the faint sound of a sirens coming closer, praying that Danny wouldn't be their thirteenth victim.

________________

**-Present-**

"Good, thanks Stel," Don hung up the phone, a satisfied grin on his face, turning towards the hospital room's bathroom "Dan-o, Stella said they got in custody a Dr. Katherine Brown who one of the orderlies squealed on to cut a deal for a reduced sentence."

"Shut the fuck up!" Danny shouted from behind the door. "Seriously?"

"Yep," Don smiled, "and with your testimony reduced sentence ain't gonna mean shit for how long they're getting locked up for with their laundry list of crimes including kindapping, malpractice, among others and topped off with twelve counts of murder and the assault and attempted murder of a police officer."

"That's at least 40 years and a life sentence," Danny emerged from the bathroom, dressed in jeans, his navy blue Chuck Taylors, and a white beater, pulling on a flannel shirt. "Which is about how long I've been at this hospital."

"Or a couple days," Don shrugged. "Same thing."

"Well grab your shit and lets get outta here," Danny said, shouldering his duffel. "I am not being late to dinner with everyone and Mac's paying. Linds promised me she'd save me the seat next to her."

Don laughed and grabbed his own duffel, thankful to leave the room that for the past couple days has been to familiar.

As they walked the halls towards the exit, Don felt like there was something he needed to say.

"Danny, I'm.."

"Thanks, Don," Danny interrupted. "For everything. I don't think I could have gotten through any of this if you weren't around."

Don smiled and patted his recovering friend on his back. He wanted to grab Danny in a brotherly hug and tell him that he'd be there always. But Danny's walls had collapsed enough the past two weeks, and now more than comfort, Don knew Danny need to feel safe, normal again.

"Hey, anytime, Dan-o. Beers on you for the next couple weeks." Don gave Danny a little push forward as they exited.

"Deal," Danny replied, shoving his hands in his pockets as they made their way to the cab Don called for earlier, relieved as they left the hospital. He'd had enough of doctors and hospital smells to l as a lifetime. Leaving it behind him gave Danny the feeling that it was possible he'd get back to normal.


End file.
